(Note: lots of YouTube clips in this article, and they may not show up if you're browsing from a phone. At least I was having trouble with it)
I've written almost exclusively about movies in this blog, and while this post isn't technically about movies, I reserve the right to do whatever the heck I want on my own blog. So there. Anyway, I have undertaken the arduous task of ranking the best episodes in the history of The Simpsons. Now when I say history, I actually mean Seasons 1-11. I'm in the camp of Simpsons fans that think the show started to lose its quality somewhere in Season 9, and went into full-on tail spin mode in Season 12. I've watched every episode of Seasons 12-14 and have not seen a single one that was memorable. I quit trying to keep up with the show after that, save for a few more tries in the past couple of years. Suffice it to say, The Simpsons just isn't what it used to be, and after 500+ episodes how could it be? However, the first 9 seasons of the show are better than just about any comedy television show created (Seinfeld being its only other rival). The Simpsons first 9 seasons are witty, insightful, heartfelt, and entirely hilarious. My favorite episodes have a mix of some evidence of genuine love between the Simpsons family, something that was the heart of the show early on, and downright gut-busting laughs. I will never forget watching the "Cape Feare" episode for the first time in my room while my brother was sleeping. Trying to not audibly roar with laughter was no small feat. The Simpsons is one of my favorite shows of all time, and if you're looking to get into the show, here are my 10 favorites:
1. Homer at the Bat
This episode wonderfully mixes two of my favorite things: The Simpsons and baseball. Loaded with MLB player cameos, this episode was a landmark for the show, besting The Cosby Show for the first time ever in the ratings. When Mr. Burns makes a bet with the Shelbyville nuclear plant owner that his softball team will prevail in their upcoming game, he decides to bring in a few "ringers". The ringers are a 90's all star team featuring Ken Griffey Jr., Don Mattingly, Jose Canseco, Ozzie Smith, Roger Clemens, Darryl Strawberry, Steve Sax, Mike Scioscia, and Wade Boggs. Later in the series, The Simpsons relied too much on their guest stars as merely gimmicks, but the baseball players work so well here. The ringers all befall untimely fates and are unable to make it to the game, except for Strawberry, who is starting in right field over poor Homer.
Homer ends up saving the game in a manner that only Homer could do, but the star of this episode is really Mr. Burns. From his suggestions for the ringers all being stars from the late 19th century including someone named "Three Finger" Mordecai Brown (one of the best running gags on the show, Burns liking things that make him seem so hilariously old), to his Tony La Russa like decision to "play the percentages" by subbing Homer for Strawberry to get a righty-lefty matchup (side baseball note: as a lifelong Cardinals fan, La Russa's insistence on righty-lefty matchups would be absolutely maddening sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love La Russa and he brought the Cards two World Series titles, but taking out a far superior hitter to play the right matchup always seemed boneheaded to me. But I digress). Homer at the Bat also signifies where the show really took off. Seasons 1 and 2 had some great episodes, but this Season 3 gem is a classic that stands up to any in the best years of the show.
2. Cape Feare
As I mentioned above, I'm not sure if I have ever laughed harder at a single half hour of television than I did the first time I watched Cape Feare. A Sideshow Bob episode, Cape Feare plays exactly like, well, Cape Fear. Bob is in the Robert De Niro/ Robert Mitchum role, stalking the Simpsons to once again try and kill Bart. The most brilliant gag of the episode came as a mistake. The episode was running a few minutes short, so the writers decided to just loop a gag where Bob is stepping on rakes over and over.
It's a joke that goes from funny, to tired, to hilarious. There are several more moments that are super funny including:
And:
Kelsey Grammer does a magnificent job voicing the annual episodes featuring Sideshow Bob, a maniacal genius who is somehow always bested by one of the Simpsons. Cape Feare is the best of those.
3. Last Exit to Springfield
Last Exit to Springfield is a great episode that I had almost forgotten about, except that I hadn't. There are several ALL TIME classic lines in this episode that I have always quoted, but forgot were in this one:
But last but not least, one of the most annoying and funny bits in the show (this clip loops it a bunch, but the actual bit in the show lasted a good minute):
This episode pits Homer as the Union president facing Mr. Burns to get back the Nuclear Plant's dental plan. Homer stumbles his way through the negotiations, but ends up coming off as a brilliant tactician to Burns. The Burns and Homer stuff is pure gold, and Carl and Lenny really have some funny moments, including this exchange after Homer is elected president of the union:
Homer: What does this job pay?
Carl: Nothin'.
Homer: D'oh!
Carl:... Unless you're crooked!
Homer: Woo-Hoo!
4. Homer Goes to College
Famously written by Conan O'Brien, Homer Goes to College crams every college cliche into one "zany" episode. In order to keep his job at the plant, Homer must pass one class at the local college.
Homer expects college to be like Animal House, and every other college romp. He immediately thinks that it will be all about pranks and fighting with the cantankerous dean, but is shocked by the reality.
Homer just ends up taking the lazy way out and cheats, but Marge insists he do it the right way to set an example for his kids. Homer is dumb, stupid, fat, and lazy, but he generally makes some strides to be a good dad. I'm not really a fan of how the show depicts gender roles within the family; Marge is the leader and the rock, cleaning up Homer's messes and setting the example for the family. This should be a role filled by Homer as the dad, but that's another argument. Homer Goes to College has tons of laughs, and that's really what it's all about!
5. The Cartridge Family
This episode shows that Homer and guns are a terrible and dangerous mix. After buying a gun, Homer generally uses it in every horrible way possible, appalling his family and even the NRA. His flippant regard for guns is funny because it's in a cartoon; in any other context it would be horrifying. Homer ends up choosing his family over the power of the gun, but only after some heavy consideration. Homer purchasing the gun at the gun store is one of my favorite bits of the series:
Also included is a great send up of soccer starting with this ridiculous commercial for an exhibition game to be hosted in Springfield:
Season 9 was hit and miss, but this one was brilliant.
6. Homer's Triple Bypass
Homer has always treated his body badly, and this episode highlights his dangerous overeating. Opening with Homer in bed gorging on a ridiculous amount of food, his heart turns from bad to worse as he needs a transplant. Lots of great Dr. Nick stuff, and some genuine emotion and love between the Simpson family. The scene where Homer is being fired by Mr. Burns is great:
7. Duffless
Another episode focusing on Homer's sinful indulgences, this one zeroes in on one of his greatest loves: beer. After Homer is arrested for DWI (NOT found DOA as Wiggum first states), his keys are taken away and he is sent to alcoholics anonymous. Marge pleads with her husband to stay away from beer for one month, in which Homer is tortured going through life without beer. The episode has a very sweet ending between Homer and his wife, where he realizes his family is much more important than beer (but then again he's back to swilling booze in the very next episode). Duffless introduces us to Homer's first experience with beer, a hilarious song in which Homer uses a fake ID:
Homer on beer is funny, and Homer without beer is equally so.
8. The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson
Another season 9 gem, this one shows Homer at his most enraged. After being forced to be the designated driver (and in the process being tortured by Duffman), Barney goes on a two month long bender that ends with Homer's car being parked between the World Trade Center towers. Homer has a deep hatred for New York, and despises having to go there. The physical comedy in this one is off the charts hilarious. When Homer decides to drive his car with the parking boot still on it, I completely lose it.
This one has no real sentimental or deeper value, it's just really really funny. This Luke Perry look-a-like in a musical about going into rehab won a Primetime Emmy.
Also, Homer really hates Mountain Dew:
9. Homer's Enemy
Homer's Enemy is one of the darker episodes of the series (along with another Season 8 episode called A Millhouse Divided, in which Millhouse's parents get divorced). Frank Grimes is a hard working man who can't really catch a break, which is the opposite of Homer. Homer is lazy and stupid, but seems to catch every break. Grimes is appalled by how much Homer has and all the things he's done. Homer tries to become friends with Grimes, but it continues to annoy Grimes to no end.
Grimes eventually goes insane at how Homer bumbles his way to a successful life, and it leads to his untimely death. It's totally dark, especially the "change the channel, Marge!" quip from Homer, at Grimes' funeral. This episode proved that The Simpsons could do dark comedy as well. Homer will drive you insane, and you will end up laughing at how oblivious he truly is.
10. Homer Badman
There might be some funnier episodes than Homer Badman, but the genius of this one forced me to put it in the top 10. After dropping off the kids babysitter, Homer reaches to grab a gummi bear that was lodged against her butt, causing her to claim sexual harassment charges against Homer. The media is absolutely roasted for the sensationalist embellishments they claim on a daily basis. Homer is treated instantly as a monster by TV and the newspaper, when his side of the story is actually true. This includes a made for TV movie released before any facts have even come out, depicting Homer as a total animal.
Don't get me wrong, the commentary is great but it's also extremely funny. Grandpa not wanting to recognize Missourah is something I often quote (especially now with Arkansas playing Missouri every year).
The list could go on and on. Generally any episode between seasons 3 and 8 is super funny. Most of these honorable mentions could easily make the top 10.
Honorable mentions:
Stark Raving Dad
When Flanders Failed
Lisa's Pony
Flaming Moe's
Burns Verkaufen der Draftwerk
Mr. Plow
Marge vs. the Monorail
Homer's Barbershop Quartet
Homer and Apu
Deep Space Homer
Bart of Darkness
Lisa on Ice
Itchy and Scratchy Land
Homer the Great
Bart vs. Australia
Radioactive Man
King-Size Homer
Team Homer
Homerpalooza
You Only Move Twice
A Milhouse Divided
Mountain of Madness
The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show
Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment
Bart Star
King of the Hill
Homer to the Max
The Mansion Family
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