(500) Days of Summer

*Spoiler!* Don't read if you haven't seen it!




(500) Days of Summer is my favorite romantic comedy, bar none. For the most part, I hate romantic comedies. Every single one follows the exact same formula. The girl meets the guy, they flirt, they have some jokes and misunderstandings, and then they end up together. Granted I realize that romantic comedies are not directed towards my gender, but I've still seen quite a few in my day. (500) Days of Summer is totally different. The story is told out of order. The couple doesn't end up together. The male is the lead character, as opposed to the female. The narration tells us from the start that "this is not a love story". The movie is such a great look at relationships, love, and how us males are so different than females. Maybe my judgment is clouded because I have good feelings attached to this movie, as I saw it on a really great date. The relationship didn't work out, but I always think back to seeing that movie as one of the good times. The male lead is frequently clouded by the "good times" from his relationship with the girl, a major part of the movie.

(500) Days of Summer follows Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and his 500 days of infatuation with Summer (Zooey Deschanel, one of my favorite actresses). The movie tracks his original feelings for her, their time together, and his time getting over her, much of which is told out of order.

Since the story is told from Tom's perspective, there are so many moments that I could relate to. Tom incorrectly reads Summer so many times. Early on, Tom and Summer share and elevator ride. Summer says that her weekend was "goooood" (emphasis on the good), which Tom interprets to mean that she spent it with some other dude. He immediately dismisses any further chance with her. I've totally been there. If a girl doesn't text back within a certain amount of time, or sounds less than excited in a response, I immediately think she's not interested. Most of those times it's a stupid misreading and a total overreaction, but this is how people think. Dating is most certainly a game. Women think that women over analyze their interactions with men way more than men do, but the truth is that men do the same thing but won't admit it.

Much of what people don't like about this film is that Summer comes off as playing Tom. They date and grow really close, yet Summer never commits to him, and eventually ends up with someone else. I disagree in that Summer plays Tom. Summer says to Tom in their first meaningful conversation together that she does not like relationships. She says she is too young to be tied down, relationships are messy, and she wants no part of it. Tom, being the hyper romantic that he is, thinks in his heart that he can change her feelings. He believes that if given the chance, he can be the one to tame Summer. Yet throughout their time together, despite how close they become, Summer maintains her independence. She never says she wants to be his "girlfriend", never thinks they are more than friends. Essentially, she enjoys being with Tom, but doesn't see a future. Tom puts his blinders on and refuses to believe this. He enjoys so many things about her (their same taste in music, her quirkyness, and her looks), that he glosses over something that is extremely important to him. Tom is looking for a wife, and Summer makes it clear she is not it. Yes, she does act in some occasions that she wants more, but will never change her mind. It's so important to know that you cannot go into a relationship wanting to change someone. It's naive to think that you can make someone else do what you want and fit into your box. Yet people, myself included, do it all the time. We overlook the things that we don't like about a person because of the great things in them. Things that maybe are very important and things that we really need in a mate, we shirk because of infatuation and romantic feelings. Tom shirks the fact that Summer never wants to get serious with him because he loves the way she makes him feel.

Tom is constantly wanting to be her "boyfriend", unless he says he doesn't because he thinks it will rock the boat. In my mind, if Summer was sure about him, she would have no problem with this label. "You never wanted to be anyone's girlfriend, and now you're someone's wife", Tom says to Summer after learning of her wedding to another man. The "boyfriend-girlfriend" label is a funny thing. Many people take it to both extremes. On the one hand, you have people who go on 3 dates, say they are dating, and instantly become a pretend married couple. They have to ask the others permission to do anything, they eat every meal together, and they spend every spare second together. In Christian circles (which by the way is where I run, and what my lens looks like), the couple is basically married save for living together, having different last names, and separate bank accounts. Then on the other hand, you have people that are totally averse to the idea of a label. They shun the idea of belonging to someone, being someone's "boyfriend" or "girlfriend". Unless there is a ring on the woman's finger, there is no commitment, and neither is tied down by the other. My thought is that if I'm going to err to either extreme, it's going to be towards the "no labels" couple. Pretend marriages are extremely dangerous. They can hurt feelings, bring on dangerous temptations, and alienate friends. This was Tom and Summer. However, I don't see the harm in using a label. It's a simple expression outwardly that you are exclusively dating this person, and moving towards the goal of marriage. Summer never wants the label with Tom because marriage was never her goal with him. He was interesting, but not husband material in her mind.

Tom mentions that "the movies and pop songs, they are to blame," while ranting about the fallacy of love. In a way, this is totally true. Movies and songs majorly romanticize the concept of, well, romance. They play up all of the great parts, the intense feelings, and living happily ever after. In truth relationships are not that simple. They aren't one big fairy tale where the guy rocks the woman's socks off by one insane romantic stunt after the other. While it's true that men should treat women with respect and like queens, and should romance them, the woman's expectations can't be what movies and music tell them they should be. Movie romances aren't real. This is why I love this film so much. The movie romance is so much more real than most movies are. A lot of times, you may feel really strongly for someone and they don't feel the same way. That's life. Tom's sister points out, "Just because she likes the same bizarro crap you do, doesn't make her your soul mate." Again, Tom is so whimsical about Summer at this point, he doesn't even hear it. Most people will have their "Summer" relationship. A person you are so sure is the one you should marry, but you don't. Early after the break up, you look back and think of all the goods times, but as time goes on your judgment is opened up. It takes Tom a ridiculous amount of time to do this, but he finally realizes that Summer and he were not meant to be. They had their time, he learned a lot, and now it's time to move on. Many think that the ending with him meeting a girl named Autumn is cheesy, but I think it's fun.

The "expectations vs. reality" scene is my favorite in the film (with the Hall and Oates musical number a close second). Tom and Summer briefly reconnect at a wedding after they have broken up, and Summer invites Tom to a rooftop party she is having. There are two perspectives shown side by side on screen: What Tom Expects to happen at the party, versus what actually happens. Again, this is so relate-able. Almost all of us have this expectation of what is going to happen in certain situations, and most of the time it doesn't match up. Tom thinks that this is the night he and Summer finally get back together, and all his dreams come true. In actuality, he finds out Summer is engaged, and storms off into the night. A lot of times our minds play up what we think is going to happen and insert what we want to happen, rather than living in the moment and realizing what is actually going on. 

I really love this movie's soundtrack. Regina Spektor plays beautifully over the introductory credits and the "expectations" scene. The Temper Trap's "Sweet Disposition" is interposed as the film's main theme. Spoon, The Smiths, and Wolfmother are also prominently featured, and the music vibes so well with the tone of the film. Tom and Summer discuss what their favorite Beatles song is, a great moment for me as such a huge Beatles fan. Summer says her favorite Beatle is Ringo, which is ridiculous, because let's get real, the only correct answer to that question is Paul. The music is perfectly matched with the film.

In the end, while I think that Summer could have been more honest with Tom, I don't think that she is the villain. Tom needed to figure out things for himself, and Summer doesn't have to be who he wants her to be. (500) Days of Summer is one of my favorites. Guys, if you are ever on a date, pop in this flick as one that you and your date will both love!

4/5